America 2.021 to be released in January!

Users frustrated with the bug filled 2020 version of this important operating system can take solace in the news of the anticipated release of America 2.021, slated for release in January.

The biggest fix provided from this update is the removal of a stubborn bug first added to its software in November 2016, which has been systemically infecting some users with a lack of operating intelligence at an alarming rate. Sadly, the other infectious super-virus ravaging America will still persist in the newest version, though technicians are working on a vaccine for that due out sometime in mid 2021.

Mexico and Canada can now cease building their protective firewall, intended to prevent the American bug from gaining access to its systems as well.

Reportedly, the pesky bug that’s removed with this update, was to be retired to a Federal Penitentiary, but due to an internal design flaw, it seems able to exempt itself from exorcism using a little known “pardon.exe” file, (which sadly, also seems to protect the bug’s ‘Child Themes’,) which when deployed, removes all power from the mainframe and re-routes it somewhere to a more localized system located somewhere in the New York penal system.

How the American operating system fell off the rails so fast is really anyone’s guess. It seemed to hum along just fine previously, occasionally even working towards the benefit of its users. When the program functions as intended, its to instill a sense that its functionality is to actually help its users succeed, instead of actively working against it. It seemed recently however, every time the application was accessed, it loaded slow if at all, and all that appeared was the dreaded “blue screen of death.” (Though for some reason it was red.)

We here at Eden Marketing in Athens, Ohio are thrilled with the news of this important update, and very much look forward to America 2.021 and working with you on your marketing projects in the coming year. 😉